The Inseparable Connection of Love and War

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Many believe love cannot be defined, but it can. Love is the essence of connection. Many falsely believe that the opposite of love is war, not realizing that war is an essential force for the continuity of love. In fact, in the long haul of life’s ever-changing nature, which often tears things apart in diverging directions rather than converging them, war is the only way to maintain the connective tissues of love.

Many think the greatest challenge in life is to “find love,” but the true struggle lies in discerning who and what we truly love. From there, the real work begins: rolling up our sleeves and fighting for the rest of our lives to preserve and nurture those connections.

And it's worth noting, the opposite of love isn’t war, but rather hate and indifference. Hate aims to sever the bonds that hold things together, while indifference allows them to unravel by refusing to fight for them. Together, these forces drive things into oblivion. They are the means by which love is destroyed: hate through active severance, and indifference through passive neglect. Both lead to disconnection or ensure we remain disconnected. To love, and to preserve the integrity of its bonds, one must battle everything that seeks to break those connections—even life itself, with its constant shifts and unpredictable changes.

Why is this so? Why does the very nature of life tend to break apart what is connected, even though life itself exists through the bonds between the micro and macro levels of existence? Why does it allow for disconnection? Why does its motion seem to diverge rather than naturally draw us toward each other and what we love? The answer is simple: the nature of existence is rooted in expansion. By default, it creates space and gaps between its junctures, causing them to drift apart. This process isn’t personal; it’s simply a value-neutral force that facilitates the expansion of existence.

Those who cannot resist this drift will ultimately disconnect from all. After all, aren’t we only connected to what we give our attention and effort to—what we fight for? And isn’t the ultimate disconnection death itself, when the body, once unified, loses its connectivity? It’s worth noting that this is why it takes so much more time and effort to gain what we desire, to connect with it, while losing it happens effortlessly and in an instant. The nature of life will always push things apart, leaving us with the eternal, Herculean task of preserving the connections that matter most to us.

In many ways, all of us, human beings, are agents of love. We are creative by nature, endowed with the will to act, to form connections, and the power to merge. As beings of discernment and desire, we have the ability to choose what we wish to connect with and the strength to resist the forces that pull us apart. And ultimately, when all is said and done, it is this fight to maintain our connections, and what we remain connected to, that will define the value and quality of our lives.

Naivety says love happens to you, that once it's found, one can rest—but wisdom knows love must be fought for.

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